Antarctica, Austral Summer 2019 - 2020 (Part 5 - Homesick)

Over the last week I was kind of in a depressive funk. My schedule to start the season has been less than ideal. The reality of McMurdo station is that most socializing here is done at one of the two bars on base: Southern Exposure and Gallagher’s. Bars are open almost every night from 7 PM until 11 PM (midnight on Saturdays). There is also what is known as “day bar” at Southern Exposure from 7 AM to 11 AM for all the people that work the overnight (MidRat) shifts.

My position as the PM Floating Sous is brand new, and as such I am literally the only person on this station with my hours and it has kind of left me in between two worlds. Since I’m scheduled from 2:30 PM until 12:30 AM, I don’t have MidRat hours or regular “town hours.” Combining my schedule with my social awkwardness and generalized anxiety, this has made it next to impossible to socialize or to really make a lot of friends down here. By the time I’m done with work most people are getting ready to go to bed for the next day and when I wake up the next morning the MidRats are getting ready to go to bed for their next overnight shift

This place feels a lot like college. We all live and work in the same place and are kind of forced to interact with each other. It’s very cliquish and, just like in college, I don’t feel welcome in any of them. I feel like most people think I’m weird or annoying which has been my experience pretty much my entire life. It’s made my first few weeks here pretty lonely and I feel like I’m on the outside looking in.

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At McMurdo, everyone works six days a week. “Town hours” as they’re called are Monday through Saturday, 7:30 AM - 5:30 PM. Since people don’t just want to not eat on Sundays, the galley crew is not privy to these hours or having Sundays off. We are also expected to work on most holidays including Thanksgiving. Since most of us are stuck working on these special days, we have an extra day off added to our schedules during one of the weeks leading up to Thanksgiving.

I was fortunate enough this week to have my “Thanksgiving” scheduled on a Friday and the extra day off was welcomed considering my mood. I’ve been trying to keep active to keep my mind off things by continuing the “Everest Challenge.” I try to get people to go with me but if I can’t find anyone to go with I typically have gone by myself.

By Friday, October 25 I had climbed Observation Hill six days in a row, meaning I’m about 15% done with the challenge. I timed myself on most climbs and saw a lot of improvement in my cardio. On Friday afternoon climbed with one of the other sous chefs, Maggie. She is in really good shape and I was struggling badly to keep up with her. In the end though it did help me improve my best time to 21 minutes up hill.

Later that same evening, I went to Gallagher’s for karaoke, or “Scary-oke” as they were calling it. Despite the Halloween themed name, literally nothing about the evening had anything to do with Halloween except for a two people that dressed up as “Weird” Al Yankovic but that just as easily could have been just part of their karaoke act. I was too shy to try to do Karaoke myself but at the “after-party” in the Coffee House one of the stewards and myself sang Aladdin’s “A Whole New World” which I can apparently sing very well.

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I spent a lot of the rest of the week feeling pretty homesick. My time away from Audrey and our two dogs was starting to weigh heavily on me. Little things like waking up next to each other or being greeted by the dogs when I get home are easy to take for granted but become sorely missed when taken away. I also began regretting not being able to see our new home in Oregon begin to come together.

Over the next several days I was mostly in a routine of working and climbing Observation Hill. I was pretty pleased by how well I was improving with my time up the hill. On Saturday November 2, I climbed Observation Hill for the tenth time and was able to get a new personal best time at 17 minutes.

November 2 was also the day of the big station-wide Halloween party. I was unfortunately stuck working until midnight so I was not able to really attend it other than at the very tail end when most people were already gone or leaving. I learned a few days prior that the sous chefs would be rotating schedules on December 2nd which would mean I would have more normal work hours and honestly I don't think it could come soon enough.